Instant Star Season 5
by Born2WriteFanfics
Summary: Did you really think it was all over? ; 1 writer, 13 episodes, a brand new season! Watch the trailer here: /watch?v yejl8jJNxso
1. 501 The Fear

501 The Fear

_People can be scared of many things. And many things can be scary. Spiders, nuclear bombs, war. For me, the one thing I'm scared of is leaving everything I love behind. Leaving my normal life, the life I've always led, leaving the people I've always loved, leaving everything. But I have. And sitting here on this plane as I look down at the mass of ocean below me, I'm not scared of spiders, or war, or even nuclear bombs. I'm not even scared that I might meet someone like Hunter or Megan who will try and hold me hostage again. Right here, right now, I'm just scared of not being able to make it alone. And for me, that's the scariest thing in the whole world._

*

Jude walked collectively out of the tunnel and into the busy baggage collection of Heathrow airport. She was greeted with a flood of hungry reporters shouting her name and holding microphones up to her face. She felt a huge grin spread over her face and smiled warmly.

"Jude!"

"Jude!"

"Hi!" she said, waving and smiling.

"Jude! How was your flight?"

"When are you going to debut your basement song?"

"Are you homesick yet?"

"Jude." Jude felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and turned to see Nicola Dumar next to her.

"A bit overwhelming isn't it?" she said. Jude, lost for words, watched as Nicola helped Jude with her bags and led her out from the mass of cameras and people to her car. Black, with tinted windows, Jude climbed into the back and got comfy, letting her head fall back against the headrest. Nicola sat in the back with her, the driver remaining silent as he drove them away from the bustling airport and towards the inner realms of London.

"Wow, what a fab welcome," Jude said.

"Everyone is so excited to have you here in London, Jude," Nicola said. "I just hope it isn't too overwhelming for you."

"No, I love it, it's great to have worldwide fans, and I can't wait to start such a new exciting phase of my life," Jude said.

"I know you're probably very tired," Nicola continued. "But I'm afraid it's straight into work-well, once we have taken a little trip to see your new home."

Jude gazed out the window and was surprised to see that they were already in the heart of London, and were now turning into the big gates that was Notting Hill. Jude's new home. The driver stopped outside Jude's apartment, and Nicola handed Jude her keys.

"A car will pick you up in about 2 hours, until then I had all your stuff that has already been shipped in moved into the house and it should be in some kind of reasonable order. Make yourself at home as best as possible for now, and I will see you in a few hours."

Jude stepped out the car and collected her luggage, unlocking the front door and finding herself staring down a long hallway.

_Jude you picked our home without me_

Jude walked into the hallway and found herself flashing back to what had previously happened back home. No this was her home now.

_You say one thing and you do the opposite_

Jude felt a throbbing pain in her head, and leant against the wall, every word she heard in her head echoing around the empty rooms.

_What I can't figure out is what you really want_

Jude sunk against the wall and slid down it, huge sobs choking her. She cried hard, letting the tears fall, letting it all out. The apartment was silent, silent enough to engulf Jude's loud sobs, to hear her angrily pounding her fists against the wall. Exhausted with what felt like no strength left in her body, Jude let her head fall into her hands, and closed her eyes as tight as they could go, just wishing she could stay like this, curled up in a tiny ball, in this empty house, forever.

* *

Tommy knocked casually on Darius' door and pushed it open without needing a response. Darius, barely looking up from his desk and the piece of paper he was writing on asked "what can I do for you T?"

Tommy sighed heavily and looked at the floor. "Karma's album," Tommy said quietly. "It was never finished. I want to finish it."

Darius looked at Tommy. "Well you don't seem very enthusiastic about it! Come back when you've got a bit more life in you, then maybe I'll consider it."

Tommy closed his eyes in exasperation. "It's been a day D."

Darius put his pen down and sighed. "Do you want some time off?"

Tommy laughed quietly to himself. "So I can wallow in self-pity? No." He made his way to the door.

"T?"

Tommy turned round.

"You gotta let her go." Darius stared hard at Tommy. "Once and for all this time."

***

"Okay dudes, I've just come to collect my guitar and then I'm off." Spied said miserably, hurrying down the stairs to Jamie's basement, NBR.

Jamie gave him a weird look. "You already have your guitar." He pointed to the black guitar case Spied was carrying.

"Right," Spied said quietly. "I knew that...well, see ya then!" he turned back up the stairs.

"Off?" Zeppelin questioned. "Where to?" Spied turned back to face them.

"Yea, you should be excited! We have a new single to make!" Jamie grinned, rubbing his hands together gleefully.

"That's, probably not possible," Spied said slowly.

Jamie frowned and looked at Zeppelin. "Why?" he asked.

Spied looked at the ground. "Karma and I...well. We have to go somewhere."

"Is it for the TV show?" Zeppelin asked.

Spied laughed. "It's _because_ of the TV show."

"What happened?" Jamie said.

Spied looked at Jamie and shrugged. "Nothing," Spied said finally. "No, everything's fine."

Jamie turned to Zeppelin again, and when they both looked back at where Spied had been, he was gone. A second later they heard Jamie's front door shut.

****

Jude took a deep breath and pushed open the entrance doors to Bermanze Records, once again to be greeted by flashing cameras and microphones. She smiled, wanting to make as best a first impression as possible in England. Once again Nicola rescued her, pulling her through the cameras and into her office. Completely different to Darius', Jude almost felt as if she was back in GMajor when Georgia owned it. Maybe it was that feminist touch. Subtle decorations, white walls, the office looked bright and cheerful. Jude felt instantly relaxed.

"Have a seat Jude," Nicola said. Jude took up comfort in one of the two armchairs facing Nicolas desk.

"Now then, we want to make a big impact with you," Nicola began. Jude nodded, smiling and taking a deep breath.

"So," Nicola said. Jude raised her eyebrows at the touch of foreboding words about to be uttered.

"I wanted to debut the basement song tonight!" Nicola beamed. Jude's face fell, the words echoing in her head once again.

_I was planning to debut my new basement song tonight...._

"Jude?"

_But you're gonna have to wait for the album for that one._

Jude felt the tears prickling her eyes.

_It's just not where my heads at anymore...._

"Jude? Are you okay?"

_It's not where my heads at anymore..._

_Anymore...._

_Anymore..._

"Jude?" Nicola stared at Jude in concern.

Jude blinked and met Nicola's gaze.

"Are you okay?" Nicola said, putting a reassuring hand on Jude's arm. Feeling her cheeks were wet, Jude sniffed and wiped her eyes and face with her sleeve. The coarse denim of her jacket made her cheeks raw and red, but all Jude cared about was not making a scene in front of her new manager. _It's a bit late for that now isn't it? _Jude scolded herself.

"I, I thought we were going to wait for the album for the basement song?" Jude stammered.

"That's what you told your fans at the release party," Nicola said. "But what's a better way to take over the UK than to perform the one song everybody's lusting after?"

Jude knew she was right. But she couldn't stand the thought of performing the 2AM without Tommy on piano.

"Well um, I'm not really very prepared," Jude said. "I haven't met my band yet, or settled in or anything."

Nicola's face fell. Jude could tell it was disappointment rather than anger. "Okay then," Nicola said quietly. "That's fine, um, you get settled in over the next few days and then we'll see about a performance."

Jude knew that was her cue to exit. "Okay," Jude replied softly. "Thank you." She stood up and made her way out of the door.

*****

"Sadie I don't know what to do!" Jude said exasperatedly.

"Look, you're just tired," Sadie said. "It hasn't exactly been the easiest couple of days."

Jude sighed and closed her eyes. Hearing Sadie's voice down the phone was a lot more reassuring than Jude had ever realised.

"How's Tommy?" Jude asked.

There was a long pause.

"He's uh," Sadie said slowly.

"Don't hide it from me Sade," Jude said bluntly.

"How do you expect he is Jude?" Sadie said.

Jude leant her head against the wall. She was back in her apartment now, in the same spot that just earlier that day she had been crying against.

"Well has he said anything...about me?" Jude pressed.

"No," Sadie replied. "He's not speaking to anyone."

"He could always speak to me?" Jude said, like the answer wasn't any more obvious.

"Really Jude? I don't think that would make it any better."

Jude heard footsteps from Sadie's end of the phone.

"Look Jude I have to go okay? Struggle through, and I'll call you tomorrow," Sadie said hurriedly.

"Wait Sadie!" Jude said. "Look, can you just tell Tommy something?"

"Sure."

"Just tell him that I love him. Please."

There was another long pause.

"Of course," Sadie said. "Bye."

Jude nursed her throbbing head and stood up. She paced a few times up and down the hall, and then grabbed her phone once more.

******

Tommy pushed open the GMajor doors onto the roof and walked across the car park. He stopped momentarily a few feet from his car, and, although before him was not his Viper, memories from Jude's 16th Birthday came flooding back.

_There's not one thing I'd change about you_

Tommy jumped at the sound of his cell phone beeping. He flipped the lid open and his heart skipped a beat.

1 new message.

From Jude. He swallowed hard, and pressed 'Read', walking to his car and climbing into the driver's seat. Daring himself to look at the message, his eyes scanned the screen and read slowly and carefully what Jude had written:

Hey. I'm sure I'm probably the last person you want to hear from right now but I need to know something. Can you call me? Please...I need you now more than ever Tommy. XXXX

Tommy sighed and started the engine, throwing the phone onto the passenger seat. _Jude can wait til I get home_ he thought.

*******

Jude tossed and turned, rolling over onto her side again and shutting her eyes as tight as she could, praying for some sleep. Failing once again she rolled back onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Everything felt wrong. The bed was un-comfy, the house was alien to her, there was no Sadie in the next door bedroom, no Tommy a drive's length away, everything was new and scary. And Tommy still hadn't called. As if her thinking that triggered Tommy from the other side of the Atlantic to read her thoughts, her phone started beeping. Jude practically leaped out of bed and grabbed her cell off of the bedside cabinet.

"Tommy?" She said, out of breath at exerting herself all of a sudden so quickly.

"Jude?" Tommy's voice sent shivers down her neck. "Is this a bad time? You sound...breathless."

Jude caught on to Tommy's adding up of 'events' that Jude might be involved in. "What? No! No, I," she panted, "I was trying to sleep and then you rang and I jumped for my cell."

There was an awkward silence. "I got your text," Tommy said. He sounded sad. Jude swallowed hard to keep her emotions down.

"Yea," she said hoarsely. "I really needed to talk to you."

With no response from Tommy she continued.

"They want me to perform the basement song tomorrow night. As a, big launch for me coming to London," she explained.

Silence.

"Then perform it."

_Did I just hear him say that? _Jude thought.

"What?" Jude said.

"Jude, it's your song. If you want to perform it then perform it. What's the problem?"

"But, its...it's about you. I don't know it just...brings back memories that's all," Jude said quietly.

"You mean how I was going to perform it on piano with you. Blow everybody away with 2AM is what I said. If I remembered correctly," Tommy said.

It was Jude's turn to be silent.

"I'm sorry," Jude said finally, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard, trying to force the tears away.

"Me too," Tommy replied. "But I don't do the whole long distance call thing, so I better go. You hang in there," he said quickly.

"WAIT!" Jude said. "I love you," she said, smiling for the first time since she had arrived in London.

There was another silence.

"Tommy? Are you still there?"

"Goodbye Jude."

The line went dead.

- - -

Tommy closed his phone lid and closed his eyes. He hadn't been able to bring himself to say he loved Jude back. It was too soon, after everything that had happened. Instead, he reopened his phone and sent a text. Jude wouldn't get it til tomorrow morning, but he hoped it would be enough.

- - -

_People can be scared of many things. And many things can be scary._

_But sometimes you have to fight your fears, stand up to them._

"D!"

Tommy ran up to Darius as he was walking out of his office. He wanted to catch him before the day was up.

"I want to finish Karma's album."

Darius looked at him and smiled, putting a comforting hand on Tommy's shoulder. The text Tommy had sent earlier to Jude had helped him as much as he hoped it had helped Jude. As the day was ending for him, Jude's day was just beginning, and he hoped his text would be the first thing she saw when she woke up.

_For others you have to not just fight your fears, but hide them. Bury your head in the sand._

"Hey Spiedy! How was your day?"

Karma gave Spied a hug as he pushed open the trailer door. He gave her a kiss on the lips and smiled.

"My day? It went perfect," he said.

"I'm recording a new record, Jamie thinks it's gonna be another hit," Spied said. Karma smiled and looked around at the trailer, at the boxes piled up around them.

"Did you tell him?" she asked tentatively.

Spied smiled. "I told him everything's fine," he said. "Because it is. We may not be living like rock stars, but that doesn't mean we are less happy. Right?"

Karma smiled and nodded her head. "Right."

_I'm just scared of not being able to make it alone._

Jude flipped open her cell and read the text from Tommy. She smiled, and, slipping on her jacket hurried out the door to her performance. It was a good job she had stayed awake long enough last night to get the text before this morning. Lucky for her, she had read Tommy's text that night and stayed up doing exactly as Tommy had told her to:

Please know that I do love you Jude. I love you more than anything, and I know you know that. We both need time apart, and I know deep down that it will make us stronger. So do something for me. Be strong. Think about the memories, good and bad, because both the good and the ugly made us what we were together. They made a great 4 years between us something I wouldn't change for the world. So think of those memories, be strong, and live for every moment. I don't regret anything that's ever happened between us, because I know that one day we will find each other again. And I hold out all hope for that. I love you. Tommy. XXXXXX

"Jude!" Nicola gushed as Jude walked through the 02 stadium doors.

"Are you all set?" she said.

Jude had rushed to Bermanze Records at 7am that morning to give Nicola the music for the band to learn for tonight's performance.

"I'm as ready as I will ever be," Jude smiled, heading backstage for hair and makeup.

_I might be scared of not making it alone. But I know that I will always have people watching my back, helping me out. And that is the best feeling in the world. Love is the cure for all fears. And if you can learn to love someone, there is never anything to be scared about._

Jude took a deep breath and stopped onto the stage to see the stadium below her screaming her name. The piano began playing and she closed her eyes and heard Tommy's voice in her head.

_Think of those memories, be strong, and live for every moment._

_Live for every moment._

_Moment._

_Moment._

_Moment._

"So this is my new song," Jude said, her voice echoing as the crowd died down. "And it's called That Was Us." She smiled as she remembered Tommy clapping her into I'm In Love With My Guitar when she performed for her High School. As if Tommy was clapping her in now, she smiled down at all the faces, and began to sing.


	2. 502 Stronger

502 Stronger

_It's amazing how strong you can be when you know you have to be. And how much of a brave face you can put on when you need to._

"Do you surprise number 1, 2, or 3?" Nicola asked Jude excitedly.

"Hmm...I'll take...number 1 first," Jude said.

"You're booked in for an interview on GMTV!" Nicola exclaimed down the phone.

There was a pause.

"Jude?"

"Yea, um, that's great. Except...I don't know what GMTV is...?" Jude stammered embarrassedly.

Nicola chuckled. "Turn to ITV on your TV," Nicola instructed.

Jude flicked her TV set to ITV.

"It's a popular new s channel that also has the latest celebrity gossip, fashion, etcetera," Nicola explained. "You'll perform _That Was Us_ after the interview as well."

"Oh," Jude said. "Well that sounds fun!" She tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible.

"If you watch the rest of today's programme they'll probably announce you when they talk about tomorrows show," Nicola said. "Then get yourself to the studio so you can hear the other suprises!"

The phone went dead and Jude sighed, settling down on her bed to watch the rest of GMTV.

"_After the break we'll be talking to Carla Romano live from L.A. to hear what's new with Lindsay Lohan, see you in a few minutes."_

Jude rolled her eyes at the interruption of an ad break but sat up when she heard her name.

_She's the hottest star fresh from across the Atlantic, and tomorrow, she's here on our sofa to have a chat about arriving in London, leaving Canada, starting a fresh new life, and of course we will get to hear her new single, live! That's tomorrow, on GMTV._

Jude stared at the TV screen and took a deep breath. _What if I'm not ready to talk about everything yet? _She thought.

_Time for that whole brave face philosophy, cause I'm definitely gonna need it._

*

"Okay! Steady cam over here! Yea, keep it going, STOP!"

Jude stared round at the GMTV studio. It was busy, she could see that.

"Okay Jude we're ready for you in hair and makeup now!" her makeup artist said, leading her into the prep room.

Jude sat down in her makeup chair and sighed. It was 6am, and she'd barely gotten any sleep worrying about all the questions she was going to have to answer in interview.

"Right, we're on air in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" Jude heard a camera man call.

She heard the title music start up, and closed her eyes.

"Jude!"Nicola's familiar voice said.

Jude turned round to see Nicola standing beside her chair.

"Hey," Jude replied sleepily.

"Wakey wakey, Jude, you're on in half an hour," Nicola said.

Jude sat up in alarm.

"Half an hour?" she said, in shock.

"At 6.30 you'll be interviewed by Penny who will ask you a few questions," Nicola explained. "Then you'll come off until 7.40 where you will talk to Kate, and then perform That Was Us. Didn't you read the agenda?"

Jude rubbed her forehead, nursing her growing headache.

"Do you want some Paracetamol Jude?" Nicola asked. "Are you nervous?"

"No," Jude said. "As long as it's not like the Corey Staxx interview I had, I'm fine."

**

It was way past closing time for GMajor, but as Tommy walked out of Studio C into the reception he saw everyone crowded round the Television set.

"What's the occasion?" Tommy asked, walking over to Sadie.

"It's Jude's first interview on live British TV," Sadie said. Tommy swallowed, and forced himself to sit down on the sofa with everyone else.

"Dude we've managed to tune to British TV! It's awesome!" Spied said to Tommy.

Spied, Wally and Kyle had a pizza each, and had already consumed half of it.

"I er, I heard about Kwest leaving," Tommy said to Sadie whilst they were waiting. Sadie tensed up and took a deep breath.

"Yea, well I guess he needed a change," she said, happy to be saved by Spied announcing it was on.

"Welcome back to GMTV," the presenter said. "And right now we are very lucky to be joined by the latest star from across the pond, Jude Harrison. Good morning to you."

"Good morning," Jude said smiling.

Tommy felt his stomach fill with butterflies. Jude looked just as radiant and as beautiful as the first day he met her.

"So how does it feel to be here in the UK?"

"It feels, great," Jude said smiling. "It's weird being in a different country, different time zone, and of course I miss everyone back home so much, but it's great to start fresh somewhere and build up a new fan base, and everything."

"Well we hope you enjoy London as much as possible, and you'll be talking to Kate and Ben later on, also performing your new single. Thank you, Jude. Now let's get the news headlines, here's Pria."

"What!" Spied exclaimed. "Later! How much longer can I stay up?"

"This calls for more pizza, dude," Wally said, getting up and phoning the pizza delivery. Karma walked through the entrance and sat down on the sofa beside Sadie.

"Wasn't that the outfit you were wearing yesterday?" Sadie asked.

Karma blushed. "No it's not," she lied.

"_Yes_ it is, what's going on?" Sadie pressed.

"I –"

"There's my Karma!" Spied said, kissing her on the forehead and sitting down next to her. Karma glanced in Sadie's direction, anxious to tell someone about their situation.

"Look guys we have a whole hour to kill before Jude comes on again," Sadie said in exasperation. "What can we do in an hour?"

"Eat pizza," Spied said.

"Sleep," Tommy said, stretching.

"Watch other British TV crap," Kyle said. Wally nodded in agreement.

"Use the bathroom!" Karma said, jumping up and dragging Sadie with her. Spied gave her a puzzled look, then shrugged and continued with his pizza.

"Ow!" Sadie said, as Karma pulled on her arm and into the bathroom.

"I have to tell you something," Karma said.

"Well couldn't you have told me without ripping my arm out of its socket?" Sadie gasped, rubbing her arm in pain.

"I can't keep it a secret anymore," Karma said.

"Keep what a secret?" Sadie questioned.

***

Jude sighed and sat back down in her makeup chair. _Five minutes on air was enough_ Jude thought. _How am I gonna survive any longer? _

"Jude, time for sound checks and rehearsals," Nicola said, walking over to her.

Jude sighed and made her way over to the GMTV performance space. Her Bermanze Records band was waiting there ready for sound check. Jude's position was centre stage, and she swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"Sound check number one!"

Jude closed her eyes and listened for her cue in the song.

"_I tried to change,_

_Tried everything,_

_Like headlights in the rain,_

_Drifting back again,_

_Somewhere out there lying in the dust,_

_Sometimes I can't remember that was us..."_

****

"Karma?"

Sadie was full of confusion at Karmas behaviour.

"Spied and I..." Karma began slowly. "We...we got kicked off Rock n Roll Honeymoon, and now...we're living in the trailer park." She sighed, full of relief at being able to tell someone.

Sadie looked clearly shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?" she said.

Karma stared at the tiled floor. "Guess I was too ashamed really," she said quietly. "They really need some new tiles in here; this colour is really gross when you look at it for too long –"

"Karma!"

"And maybe some new paint might be good too, ooh maybe Darius can let me redecorate that would be fun and –"

"Karma!"

"I don't want to be pitied!" Karma exclaimed. "I don't need your help, and I don't need your sympathy." She pushed past Sadie and back out into the TV area.

Sadie sighed and closed her eyes.

*****

"Now next up we welcome the brand new star fresh from across the Atlantic. A young woman who took Canada by storm, she won the first ever Instant Star contest at just fifteen years old, and was launched into fame and fortune, as the title says, instantly. She has had 2 albums, her second album having gone platinum two years ago, and her third album, _My ReTurn_, is about to go on sale this month. She has just signed a contract with Bermanze Records in London, and I feel very honoured to be joined on the GMTV sofa with her this morning. It's Canada's own, Jude Harrison. "

- - - - -

"There she is!! Woo!!"

"Go Jude!!" Spied whooped as he dropped his last slice of pizza on the floor.

The GMajor reception was filled with claps and whistles at Jude's appearance on the TV screen.

- - - - -

"Morning," Jude said warmly, smiling. Her soft Canadian accent sounded harsh next to the unfamiliar British accent of the presenter.

"I feel like you should be on a pedestal right now," the presenter said. "You have become such a hit with everyone in Canada, and you seem to have made a huge fan base here in Britain."

"Yea, its, weird to look back on the last four years, and think about how far I've come," Jude said. "You know, I mean, I started at fifteen, and when I entered the contest I didn't really know what I was in for," she laughed, "so I was kind of, launched into this record label, and this fame, and," she took a breath, "it was so overwhelming, you know, I mean six months later I was heading out on tour, and to be honest, I don't really remember the first year of my life in the industry. It was all so busy and everything happened at once. You know, recording, performing, making the album touring, so yea, it was definitely, definitely a whirlwind for the first year."

"I can imagine. I mean, fifteen is a really young age to be going into the business. I mean, you were still at school, and, I mean, how did you find juggling school and music, and friends, and everything at once?"

Jude smiled and ran a hand through her soft blonde locks. "Yea it was touch," she said, "But I had a great great couple of friends who got me through everything, and who were there to support me and encourage me, and help get me through everything, so that was great support. And school, kinda kept me grounded. I didn't want to be home schooled. I wanted to be with my friends, I wanted to go through high school, and be a normal girl and a rock star at the same time."

"Well you seemed to handle it well, cause you came back from touring, your summer tour with your band –"

"Yea, the Spiederman Mind Explosion. SME. That summer tour was a great experience. The band was great, and they are still great. And I miss them so so much, and I want them to know that I love them and hope they are still jamming together and having a great time."

"So you came back from your tour, and then what? Your second album got underway?"

Jude sighed. "I came back from my summer tour and actually my label had undergone some, major changes. New management, new staff. So that was a big transition for me, and I had to grow up a lot that year, I was put in my place and I had a lot of struggles that year. I had to, um; fight really hard to get what I wanted in my second year."

"Was it a trying time?"

"Oh yea, definitely. I had a lot of personal issues as well going on then, I mean I did in my first year as well, and in a way my personal problems in my first year were in the spotlight more, um, I dated Shay in my first year, he was a rapper-we collaborated together too, and my relationship with him was highly publicised. But in my second year, although my personal life wasn't so public, it was still hard and I had to undergo some changes along the way to get my sophomore album the way I wanted it and the way I knew it had to sound. So yea my second year was very tough. Very tough. But I pulled through and, my second album ended up platinum, so that was a great result after my debut album flopped. It was nice to know my hard work paid off."

"In your second year, you dated your lead guitarist, um, Spiederman, didn't you?"

"Yea we had a thing going for a while," Jude smiled. "We had great on stage chemistry, and we just loved to jam together, and even when we broke up that never changed. We still had great fun on stage and the chemistry was luckily still there."

"So you released your second album, and then, what, did you go on tour again or? –"

"No, I um, my third year I had to get myself back on track again, I kinda lost it after the second year and had to discover what I really wanted in the music business and in my career. I felt, lost and unsure of whether I wanted to be part of the Instant Star family anymore. So I began working on my third album –"

"But in your third year, Karma came along right? The new Instant Star winner?"

- - - - -

Karma smiled.

- - - - -

"Yea, Karma, she won the contest, and there was a, bit of rivalry there in the first few months. But um, I got to know her and we ended up on good terms. But my third year didn't really go as planned. I began dating my producer, which again ended up being highly publicized, because of the age difference, so amongst other things, that kind of, tore us apart."

"Why do you think that was?"

"Well aside from personal issues that I don't really want to go into, um, I think we were just in different places at that time, so it didn't work out for the best."

"And during that year you also got held hostage?"

"Yea, it was definitely another wild year. Um, I got held hostage, and also got a lot of bad press because I accidentally wore fur at a catwalk event."

"Wow. And then did you release your third album?"

"No, um, my label suffered its own personal problems and it was closed for a while, so my album was put on hold. And at that time, I really didn't know what was going on with my music. First it was up for sale, then, thanks to someone very close to me, I got my music back, and became the sole owner of it, and I was able to write my songs again, and get back into the studio."

"And then of course, things started back up again with your producer?"

"Yea, we seemed to find each other again personally, and we reconnected in things other than music, but again that ended quite suddenly again. We suffered problems and broke up, and then, to make matters worse I finally released my third album at it didn't release too well."

"Yea I read that you "overproduced" your album and that it wasn't your sound at all?"

"That's probably the nicest review I've read, um, yea, I was just in a really bad place, but I got back and focused again, thankfully –"

"But you were held hostage again is that correct?"

"Yea, I, befriended a fan, and she clearly had some...issues, and I was held captive, um, in my own basement in fact," Jude laughed. "But um, I got back to the mixing board and reproduced my third album, with my, amazing, amazing producer, and yea, it's due to be released soon."

"Will it have the famous basement song that every one across the world has been dying to hear?"

"Yea, 2AM will be on there for sure. It's a song very personal to me, and it means a lot, so I had to make sure it went on the album."

"So how did signing with a London label come about?"

"Um, well its funny, I completely wasn't expecting it. Um, I got this woman standing outside my rehearsal space waiting for me and she told she was from Bermanze Records, London, and said she'd love to sign me and move my life to London, so here I am."

"It must have been a big decision to make. To leave your friends, your family, how did you make such a decision?"

"Actually that day was probably the hardest day of my life." Jude swallowed hard. "Um, I got two proposals in one day. One literal, and the other, of course, was Bermanze Records –"

"A literal proposal?"

"Yea," Jude smiled, and held up her left finger, the gleaming engagement ring sparkling in the stage light.

"Oh wow, so that was quite a day then?"

"Yea," Jude blushed, as if recalling some distant memory.

"So, did you, bring your fiancé with you, or?"

"No," Jude took a deep breath and stared directly into the camera. "No, um, he stayed behind. You know, I'm eighteen, it's time for me to explore and discover, and be able to have the experiences he had in the business. I did what was best for the music, and I know that deep down he understands why I did what I did. And I just hope he knows, that, I love him, and that I'm thinking of him every day, every minute. And that one day I will be ready to settle down and say 'forever and always' to him."

"Well that s a lovely thing to say to him, and I hope he's watching now," the presenter smiled. "Well good luck with the album release, we hope to hear lots of new songs from you, possibly some greatest hits that made you famous in Canada, and now we hope to hear your new single too. Can you tell me what that's about?"

"Yea, it's really a closure song for me at the moment. It's about loving someone very much, and just remembering all the moments you had with them, good and bad, and just, trying not to forget what you shared."

"Well it definitely sounds like a heart-rending song. So here it is, performing her latest song, _That Was Us_, out today, Jude Harrison."

- - - - -

Tommy closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to sneak away quickly before anyone saw his reaction to Jude's interview.

"Aren't you staying for the song?"

Tommy turned round in surprise. Sadie was looking at him.

"I er, I have work to do. Mixing Karma's album," he replied shakily, and walked off before she could say anymore.

Sadie watched Tommy walk off and sighed, standing up and walking out after him. He was sat at the mixing board, head in hands.

"Doesn't look like there's much mixing going on."

Sadie didn't bother to knock.

Tommy looked up at her and sniffed, not ashamed to show her his true feelings.

"You know, I used to sit here with Jude every day. She was either behind the glass, singing her heart out, or she was right next to me here, co-producing." He closed his eyes.

"You mean, when she wasn't firing you or storming off?" Sadie laughed, and Tommy couldn't help but smile.

"She was a real character," he said.

"Tom, you can't beat yourself up about this," Sadie said, putting a comforting arm around him.

"Can't I?" he said quietly.

"No!" she exclaimed. "You have to, get on with your life. Just like Jude is. What more could you want from Jude huh? Your beautiful, amazing fiancé is living her dream."

Tommy looked at her.

"You should be happy for her!" Sadie said.

"I just, never imagined this, you know? To me, she's still that fifteen year old girl with the, flaming red hair and the attitude problem," he said. "The girl that needed direction, a shoulder to lean on. Not the, eighteen year old, woman who flies off round the world on her own. Not someone that is able to cope on her own, not someone that doesn't need me."

"I know," Sadie said quietly. "But Tom, she's always going to need you. Even if sometimes she won't admit it. But now? She needs you more than ever. You need to be that strong, guidance, that strong voice on the other end of the phone that she can have for comfort and support."

"Have you always been this...annoying?" Tommy said, regaining some composure.

Sadie hit him playfully on the arm. "Yes," she said smiling.

"Well, as annoying as it is...thank you, Sadie," Tommy said.

Sadie nodded and smiled reassuringly, standing up and heading out the door. "You're welcome."

******

_Strength comes from within._

"Did you enjoy that?"

Nicola walked over to Jude as they went off air. Jude smiled and took a deep breath. "Yea, it was great."

Nicola smiled and left Jude to gather her things. Jude's smile quickly faded and she closed her eyes.

_And sometimes in order to be great, and successful. You have to be strong. Even when it's the most difficult thing in the world._

- - - - -

"I never expected you to tell your life story live on air."

"I never expected it either."

"It, it brought back a lot of memories."

"Me too."

There was a silence from both ends of the phone.

"Tommy?"

"Yea?"

"We can do this. I know we can," Jude said.

"I'll be strong if you'll be strong," Tommy said. "I wanna see you shine."

Jude smiled, chewing on her bottom lip, and feeling full of happiness for the first time in a long time.

"I love you, Tommy."

"I love you too Jude."

"Will you call me tomorrow?"

"Every day if you need me too."

_You can be stronger than you think when you're working together._


	3. 503 The Show

503 The Show

_Life throws at you what you can take. It knows how much you can handle._

"So the auditions begin at 9am sharp tomorrow morning."

Sadie rustled through her notes on her clipboard and looked at Darius for his reply.

"Darius?"

He glanced up and nodded in acknowledgement.

Sadie stood motionless, wondering whether to say anything else or to leave him be. She cleared her throat.

"Is there anything else you want me to do?" she asked.

"Make sure Karma's ready for tomorrow. I doubt she's really an early morning person," he said without looking up. Sadie nodded and walked off, her high heels clicking softly on the floor. She sighed, and ran a hand through her hair.

_Sadie Harrison will be my...personal assistant..._

Sadie looked at tomorrow's schedule. 9am sharp. So may auditions to get through, and that was just for Canada. She sighed nervously, hoping she would be able to pull it off, impress Darius, prove to him that she could be his assistant. His _personal_ assistant. The list for tomorrow seemed never-ending.

_But does life know how much you __can't__ handle?_

*

"Jude!"

Nicola ran over to her the minute she walked through the doors to Bermanze Records.

"You all set?" she asked breathlessly.

"Er, yea," Jude said, "you seem in a hurry?"

"Yea well we have to get to the set by 9, and its already...quarter to," Nicola panicked. "As you can see, we're running a tad late."

"Well is there anything I can do to help?" Jude asked.

"Um, yea, wait in the car so we know that at least you're ready to go," Nicola said, pushing her off back outside to the car waiting for her. Jude climbed in the back and sighed, leaning her head back against the headrest. _Video shoot today._ _That Was Us._

She was excited and couldn't wait to release her first UK video, but at the same time all she felt like doing was sitting in a room alone with her guitar, writing great songs, sure to be hits, and then getting straight into the studio to record. So far since she arrived in London she hadn't had time for any of that, the whole focus was around one song. A song that she just wanted to move away from now, start a clean page. Clearly Nicola had other ideas, and until That Was Us had as much publicity as possible, it would continue being the only single Jude was promoting. She glanced at her watch. In a few hours Sadie would be waking up to a mass of auditions and rush. In other words, World Instant Star. She just hoped Sadie was on top of things, wishing she could be there to help. She wondered if Tommy was participating...

"Okay we're all set!"

Nicola jerked Jude out of her daydream and the car began to drive off. Jude sighed and couldn't help but smile. _I'm making my first UK video! _ She thought.

**

Sadie tossed and turned and then, giving up, threw back the covers and angrily threw her dressing gown on. She shivered, more because she was in an empty house alone than from the cold. She made herself some hot chocolate and sat down in the kitchen. The ticking clock was no comfort to her, she missed Jude, Kwest, Dad, and didn't really have anyone to talk to about any of it. Jude was halfway across the world, Kwest had disappeared, Dad was probably halfway to Skegness by now. She was all alone. And what was worse than in no less than a few hours she would have to be wide awake and in top form for the Instant Star auditions. Sitting up at 4am wasn't helping the situation. She took another sip of her hot chocolate, and, realising it was cold, rubbed her aching head and made her way back upstairs...just as her alarm went off. She looked at her bedside clock: 5am. She'd been up for over an hour and hadn't even realised. Sighing and closing her yes as tight as possible she made her way to the bathroom and had a shower. The sensation of the water woke her up a bit, and she got dressed in a cute black dress and a striking red belt to wear round her waist. She straightened her hair and made sure her makeup was perfect, then struggled down a cup of coffee before heading out the door for an early start. Although auditions didn't start until 9am, Sadie was in charge of everything: preparation, lists, numbers, making sure everything was ready. And, she had to go and pick Karma up from a trailer park in the middle of nowhere.

***

Jude rubbed her tired eyes and then suddenly realised she had smudged her mascara in the process. She sighed, and duly headed to her makeup chair to get it sorted out. It was just after midnight, and they had been working on the video all day. She hadn't realised that filming her miming to her song on a sound stage would take so long.

"So we're almost done for today Jude," Nicola said, smiling. Jude smiled back, and blinked a few times whilst her mascara was redone.

"I'd say about a couple more takes and then that's a wrap til tomorrow."

"Which part are we doing tomorrow then?" Jude asked.

"If we get the video finished tonight, then tomorrow will be photo shoots for the single cover and promotional photos too," Nicola explained.

Jude tried to hide her enthusiasm, but right now all she wanted to do was go to bed for three weeks. She stood up and rubbed her forehead, walking over to the sound stage. The music cued and she played her part, feeling the song and the motion, singing her heart out even though the playback was too loud for her to be heard.

"Okay people that's a wrap for today!"

There was applause at the hard work, and Jude practically ran off stage to get home and to bed. In the car ride home Jude was falling in and out of sleep with the motion of the driving, and when the car finally jolted to a stop outside her house, she jumped awake and felt disorderly and out of focus. It was gone 2am by the time she got home, and, after making herself some hot chocolate she found herself sat her piano playing _2AM_ softly:

"_Snow falls on the city_

_White on white..._

_If I said I was truly over you_

_My heart would say amen_

_But I'd give in to the cold caress of 2AM..."_

Jude swallowed hard, but kept her composure. She finished the song and reached for her cell phone, punching in the oh-so-familiar numbers.

"Tommy?"

"Hey! What time is it?" Tommy said, sounding pleased to hear Jude's voice.

"Its, er..2AM," Jude said, and the resounding silence both ends of the phone confirmed that Tommy was remembering what she was too.

_Right now you need to join me on piano_

_You want me to tell everybody we're engaged?_

_Loud and clear..._

"How's World Instant Star going?" Jude asked.

"Er, looking round right now, Sadie looks as stressed as ever," Tommy said. "And Karma is enjoying being an Instant Star judge, what with all the media attention."

"Yea, how predictable is that?" Jude laughed.

"And Milo is doing pretty much the same," Tommy smiled.

Jude spat her mouthful of hot chocolate out so hard that it hit the wall in front of her with a satisfying, yet shocking _splat_.

"_Milo_ is a judge on World Instant Star?" she coughed.

Tommy chuckled and it was a very comforting sound to hear. "Yea."

"How come you aren't judging?"

"Because the last time I was an instant star judge you were in the seat next to me," Tommy said, but the awkward silence that fell afterwards told Jude he probably had meant to only think that, not say it aloud.

After more polite conversation they said their goodbyes, as Jude was finally beginning to feel sleepy. She couldn't be bothered to walk up to bed, so instead curled up on the sofa and closed her eyes, softly drifting into dreamland.

****

"You did good today."

Sadie looked up at Darius who was smiling at her.

Sadie smiled in return, and cursed herself at the unstoppable red flush that was heating her cheeks.

"Um, thanks," she said shyly.

"How about we celebrate?" Darius asked.

Sadie looked puzzled. "How do you mean?"

Darius smiled and walked off. "Just be ready by seven."

- - -

Sadie smoothed her black dress out and took one final glance in the mirror. Her perfectly straightened hair, her perfect makeup, she had to admit she looked good. She took a deep breath and decided to go for the smaller of the black heels, just in case Karma decided to drag her to the clubs afterwards. The sound of the doorbell made Sadie jump. She grabbed her purse and opened the door to see Darius standing there holding a bunch of flowers. Sadie smiled, taken aback and once again found herself blushing.

"Wow, did you get flowers for everyone?" she asked.

Darius just kept smiling. "Shall we?"

He lead her to his car, and they both climbed into the back. Sadie began to wonder where Karma and Milo were. The silence was awkward, and she noticed Darius' arm was round her seat, just resting on her arm the other side. They reached the restaurant – Sadie was pleased to see it wasn't Tourre Luna for a change, and Darius held the car door open for her. She took a deep breath and braved to ask the dreaded question, fearing she already knew why Milo and Karma weren't here.

"Um, so where are Milo and Karma?" she asked tentatively. Darius laughed and tightened his arm on her shoulder.

"Didn't I tell you?" he asked smiling. "Only the personal assistants get taken to dinner."

Sadie looked down at the ground as they walked through the entrance doors and into what must have been one of, if not, the, most glamorous restaurant in the whole of Canada.

"And if you haven't already noticed," Darius continued. "You're the only personal assistant I have."

They sat down at a quiet secluded table for two and Sadie still couldn't stop her cheeks flushing. They ordered dinner and made small talk, Sadie often catching Darius eyes on her when she looked up.

*****

Karma squealed happily as Spied hugged her from behind and kissed her softly on the neck.

"How was your day as Miss Judge?" he asked smiling.

Karma laughed. "It went very well," she said smiling. They sunk into the single chair in the trailer and snuggled up. The silence was comforting.

"What's on your mind?" Spied asked quietly.

Karma sighed. "Just thinking about the whole lawsuit thing," she said.

Spied stroked her hair and kissed her head. "It'll be over soon," he said reassuringly. "Shall we watch some TV?" he asked, reaching for the remote and switching it on.

- - -

Darius walked Sadie to the door and they hovered nervously outside.

"Do you want to come in for some coffee or something?" Sadie asked.

"If that's what you're calling it now," Darius teased.

Sadie turned on the lights and took off her coat. "Watch some TV or something whilst I make the coffee," Sadie said. Darius smiled and settled onto the sofa, turning on the TV. Sadie walked in with the coffee pot and two cups, but Darius stood up and set the carefully down on the table. He moved in slowly, brushing her lips softly.

- - -

"And now in the world of celebrity news, reality stars Karma and Vincent Spiederman have found themselves in a spot of bother recently..."

- - -

Both Spied and Karma froze in the seat. Suddenly it became very hard to breathe.

- - -

Darius and Sadie stared at the TV screen in disbelief.

- - -

Jude woke suddenly as her cell beeped next to her. She flipped the lid and rolled her eyes at the celebrity updates message on her screen. She was about to shut the lid again and fall back asleep, but stared in shock as the names _Karma _and _Spiederman _caught her eye. She scanned the update in shock, and couldn't tear her eyes of what she'd just read.

- - -

"I didn't want anyone to know..." Karma said, mortified at the whole world knowing what had gone on with Therman, and for a second, time stopped still, and both Karma and Spied felt like there was a huge rock crushing them down. _Could they handle any more?_


End file.
